It happens to everybody who has ever attempted a joke. You go for it, it does not land, and somebody says the four words: "you're not funny."
Here is what to do, and none of it involves defending yourself.
First, Understand What Just Happened
Nine times out of ten, "you're not funny" is not a review. It is a move.
Somebody either did not get the joke and would rather blame you than admit it, or they were the target of it and this is their return fire. Neither of those is an assessment of your comedy.
The Response That Always Works
Agree with them. Immediately and cheerfully.
"You're right, that was terrible." Said with a grin, no hesitation, no defence.
This is devastating and it takes practice. You have removed their target entirely. There is nothing left to attack, because you got there first, and the room will almost always turn back toward you.
What Not To Do
- Do not explain the joke. Ever. It is dead and explaining it is holding a funeral in public.
- Do not say "it was funny in my head." True, but it reads as a plea.
- Do not get quiet for the rest of the evening. This is the one people actually do, and it costs them far more than the joke ever did.
- Do not tell three more jokes very quickly to compensate. Desperation is the only thing less funny than a bad joke.
The Longer Game
Here is the real thing though. Funny is not a fixed trait you either have or do not.
Every genuinely funny person you know has told hundreds of jokes that died. You did not see those, so you assumed they were naturally gifted. They were not. They just kept going, and the ratio slowly improved.
The only people who are reliably not funny are the ones who stopped trying after somebody told them they were not.
So Go Again
That one did not land. Fine. Say "yeah, that was rubbish," laugh at yourself, and make another attempt in five minutes.
The willingness to keep going is the entire talent. Everything else is just practice.
Written by Jest 4U. Thanks for reading.